:: before :: Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2002 :: after

what to say, what to say... i don't feel like going in depth right now. just a general overview of recent happenings:

i have an appointment with a new therapist named maureen gordon on friday, 3pm. she sounded nice on the phone. respects confidentiality. although, they all start out saying that. including the ones who have broken my trust. i will try to keep an open mind though..

my blood pressure's good day must have just been that: a good day. now it's 82/40 resting. it did stay the same when i stood though, instead of dropping, so that's a plus. unfortunately my pulse went up when i stood... 42 beats :[ dr. chamberlain wasn't worried. of course not, he never is.

jennifer asked a doctor about what has been happening to me. he said he thought it was symptoms of severe hypokalemia [low potassium]. i pretty much knew that already. it was really scary. i was shaking so badly i couldn't walk the other night. and i broke out into a cold sweat. then i got disoriented. i couldn't understand what was going on in the movie - and it was monsters inc. i don't want to remember. i won't talk about that anymore.

my weight is still on the low side. i don't weigh myself too often. i don't care to know. but i calculated my bmi and its 13.6. so now my sick mind doesn't want to gain. i want to stay there or lose more. don't say that... you're delusional..

school is still horrible. i managed a little work last week. this week though, hardly a dent :[ i need to go this is too depressing to write about.