:: before :: october 28, 2002 :: after

sorry i have not updated in so long... i had the biggest scare the other day, when i woke up at 2:30AM the first thing i did was measure my thighs since i realized i hadn't done that in a long time. i FLIPPED OUT when i thought they had increased a whole inch and a half but it turns out i measured wrong and they are the same. anyway i know i gained some recently. i have been keeping some food down and wasn't as strict with my purging... importantly, it's been a whole week w/o BINGEING and purging. i didn't think i could do it. that was empowering.

i am supposed to go to school today. but i can't go. cause i was so sleepy yesterday that i was going to take a nap which i never awoke from. i was changing my sheets and then i just got tired and lay down on my bed and just lay there for a good 30 minutes, staring at the ceiling, thinking of who knows what. then i decided yes, i will take a nap, since i am way too tired to stay awake for another 12 hours or so. i had a lot of hwk to do so i needed to be awake. and stay up late. so anyway i go to sleep around 4:40PM and i think i woke up a few times, i was half-awake that is, too asleep to realize that i needed to get up because i had SCHOOL the next day. anyway i wake up at 6:40AM and then remember and FLIP OUT because i leave for school at 9:30AM. so i'm screwed. so i am not going. i'll go tomorrow instead. which means to have to work all day today. blah. and even if i did, i would STILL be majorly behind. and my teacher is going to be mad. and i don't want to face her :/
BR>well since it's almost 9AM right now i guess i better go make sure johanna is awake cause we need to leave soon [i still have to drive her today]. ttfn.