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So I went to the doctor's. Didn't get weighed. This fat nurse gave me a hard time. I'm not just being caddy, she really is quite overweight. I'm not good at estimating what is "overweight" vs. "obese" but I'm pretty sure she'd be considered obese. I felt awkward standing there. Like I should apologize for my appearance or something. I don't know why really. But anyway, I was in there with the first nurse who had taken my vitals [I had her last week, she's nice, but I really have no faith in her ability to take blood pressures... she is new, I can tell, and I don't think she does it right] and she had just got through telling me to change into a gown so I could go get weighed. And I was saying I didnt need to change cause I wasn't getting weighed this time. She looked all confused and didn't know what to say [poor new nurse, stuck with a difficult patient lol], and just said "Ok... um, I don't know what the doctor will say about that?" and then she left and that's when the fat nurse came in. I guess new nurse went to get her or something. So she comes in there looking all stern and says "You have to put on a gown to get weighed. That's the procedure." And I said "I know it is. But I'm not getting weighed. So do I really need to put on the stupid gown? I'm freezing in here." And she just looked at me like she wanted to kill me and grumbled "Fine." and left. I don't like her. She's the one who gave me an EKG last time and was really rude. When she was ripping off the electrode thingies it hurt because it pulled off hairs with it [hello lanugo] and she was like "Oh did that hurt? I'm sorry [she did not sound the least bit sorry], I didn't realize you had so much body hair there."! Bitch.

Ok so Dr. Lowen comes in and we "chat" for a little while. She is pleasant as usual but then the topic shifts to my weight and she is insisting I get weighed. I ended up just saying I had gained a pound and though she really wanted me to get on the scale she couldn't exactly force me so she just said ok and then said how "happy" she was I had gained. But she was still throwing out the "H-word" and talking about Stanford in particular. She admitted that Stanford's program "sucked" [her words lol] and was really not helpful but that it was the only option other than a residential place or another hospital-based program. We came up with a compromise that I would go IP if my weight dropped below 75. I figured that even though I'm 74ish right now, it's ok because I could easily waterload a few pounds. Even if I went back down to 70 I could boost my weight by 5 if I wanted to. That wouldn't be so hard. And it's nice to have the option anyway... if I feel that I need some time away from home. I would never allow myself to go in if I wasn't under 75 though. Anyway, she was happy that I said I would go in if my weight was that low but she also said that she would want me in if my vitals got worse. I'm not worried about that since I seem to be invinceable in that department. BP was 89/50 today. I cut back on the Dexatrim a bit so that is probably why. Also my urine looked "better" she said, and asked if I was purging less. So I just said yeah [lie]. She was happy and said she could tell because of the urine or something. It's hard not to lie when your own test results say you're purging less! lol. Oh well not that it matters. Got more blood drawn. I'm sure it will be fine. I also got another Prozac presciption. She wrote one a few weeks ago but I lost it. Not the paper, but the actual pills. "How do you lose a whole bottle of pills?!" she joked. Honestly, I don't know! That's what a mess my room is!

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